


Making Records

by AndreaLyn



Category: How I Met Your Mother
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-18
Updated: 2014-06-18
Packaged: 2018-02-05 03:12:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,181
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1803208
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AndreaLyn/pseuds/AndreaLyn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Robin said he couldn't get it, so Barney sets out to prove her wrong.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Making Records

Her name was Victoria Parker and they met at the airport bar on a Saturday night.   
  
“No,” Barney finished the remnants of his martini, giving her an apologetic smile of a look. It was an answer to her question, as to whether he was arriving or departing. “I’m just here to pick someone up.” They were drinking martinis that Barney had ordered for her, accepting her little ‘oh, I have only four hours before I have to board my plane to Los Angeles’. Barney could have laughed.   
  
Four hours.   
  
He’d have made do with four  _minutes_.   
  
“So who is it?”  
  
“What?”  
  
“This person you’re picking up,” Victoria asked, sliding her hand over his arm, twining their fingers. Barney had done his usual cursory assessment and yes, while she was over thirty, there was something about this meet-up that he felt was necessary. He thought it was written in the stars.  
  
Or so he’d said when they’d first bumped into each other. God, why was Ted never around to evil laugh at!)   
  
“Oh, I think she can wait,” Barney assured her, sliding his leg to her stool in order to brush against hers, playing footsie of the highest order. “How about you and I get ourselves a room at that Airport Marriott and I can get you all settled before you make that trip, huh? A little wine, maybe some music…”  
  
“I think that sounds like a great idea,” agreed Victoria Parker, She Who Had No Idea What Was About To Hit Her (Possibly Three Times If Barney Had The Time).  
  
**  
  
 _Kids, you know how insufferable your Uncle Barney can be about winning? And, well, how every single July 1st, we have to gather around his stereo system for a time-honored tradition? Well, if it wasn’t for Victoria Parker, we never would have had to suffer the way we do._  
  
They had just been ready to head out to the bar, a flurry of coats and last-minute decisions and hesitations. “Guys, we really should wait for Barney,” Lily protested, even as Marshall and Robin were ready to go, keys and purse in hand (Marshall had been insistent that he was only helping with Lily’s, but Lily had been adamant that she would never buy a purse that ugly).   
  
“I’m here!” Barney announced, pushing in the door, tie still half-knotted and a manic grin on his face. It was barely even three seconds that he came into the apartment that he was leveling in on Robin, grinning and getting so close in her personal space that she couldn’t breathe without parts of her touching Barney. “You said I’d never get it. You said you burned every copy and it didn’t work the way in Canada the way it does in the United States and that you slept with all the assistants who knew where it was so you had sexual blackmail on them, but I didn’t believe you, oh no.”  
  
“Barney,” Ted complained, coming from the kitchen. “Come on, can we get going before this gets any weirder?”  
  
“This could get weirder?” Lily piped up from where she was standing just behind the lack of space between Robin and Barney.  
  
“Wait, copies of what?” Marshall commented.  
  
“Barney,” Robin calmly protested. “Give it up. All those copies from Japan are blank anyway.”  
  
“Oh, no, the  _yakuza_  aren’t getting a single penny from me  _this time_.” He let one hand slip inside his coat, a CD case being brought out with it. “I own you,” he informed Robin in a deeper voice. “See, cuz, you kinda forgot to seduce the people who were on the mall tour with you!” he said, backing up when Robin tried to make a sudden snatch for the case. “Make It Sparkle!” Barney announced with joyful delight. “A triumphant debut into the world of music from newcomer Robin Sparkles,” he read from the case, grinning madly.  
  
“Where did you get that?” Robin demanded, arms crossed over her chest.  
  
“Oh my god, where did you get that?” Marshall asked gleefully, yanking it out of his hands to load it up into the CD player while Barney nearly crushed Lily in trying to close the space to Robin.  
  
“Um, person here,” Lily remarked, lifting her hand. Barney stayed right where he was, looking Robin the eye.   
  
“Victoria Parker.”  
  
“Who?” Ted asked from behind.  
  
“Oh, I think you know,” Barney idly commented, still staring at Robin. “Jessica had to go to the mall, but so did  _Tori_.”  
  
“You seduced the back-up dancer!” Lily realized with a gasp. “Also, you’re kinda on my boot and it cost a lot of money and…” He eased off, enough to let her out of the way. Robin was looking vaguely defeated now, glancing off to the side.   
  
It wasn’t long before the first stands of Let’s Go To The Mall piped up and Robin knew there were twelve more tracks on that CD as well as Barney did. There was little chance they were going to get to MacLaren’s that night, but there was also little chance that Ted, Lily, and Marshall were going to get pried away from that CD player.  
  
“You really seduced Tori Parker,” Robin said, finally deigning to look at Barney.  
  
“You dared me, how could I not?” Barney scoffed, easing in the rest of the way, prying out her fingers from the angry way she’d burrowed them against her hips. “Come on, don’t I get points for trying?”  
  
“You get all of them taken away for letting them hear this!” she accused. “Barney, this is…”  
  
“Not the actual CD,” he interrupted.  
  
“Not…the what?”  
  
“It’s a fake. I burned a fake copy. After this song, it’s just blank CD,” he announced, grabbing her hand and her coat in one swoop. “So I suggest you and me get out of here before they realize it and we go back to my place, where I will show you the proof of the  _actual_  CD I lifted and you can pay me that five grand we bet.”  
  
“We didn’t bet five grand,” Robin reminded him.  
  
“Well, we’ll figure something out,” he promised, helping her into her coat. “Hustle!” he whispered into her ear, gently pushing her out the door. “See you at the bar, guys!” he pitched louder. “Don’t break anything laughing.” When they were securely out the door, Robin caught hold of Barney’s wrist to get him to stop in place.  
  
He turned, searching her face.   
  
“Barney,” she said quietly.  
  
“You dared me, I won. That’s all it is, Scherbatsky.”  
  
“What did you want to win?”  
  
Barney hesitated at that, a struck look on his face that might not have looked out of place on Ted, but looked like it couldn’t wait to run away from Barney’s features. Eventually, he relaxed and softened. “Just, listen to it with me and give me the inside scoop on producing it and we’ll call it even,” he promised.   
  
“Yeah,” Robin agreed, sliding her arm around his waist as they walked downstairs to the tune of Let’s Go To The Mall. “Yeah, I think I can do that.”


End file.
